There’s an old Chinese proverb that says, “A family in harmony will prosper in everything.” My precious family has just scattered back to their respective locales after a very special holiday time together. It was special because God did a fresh work in our hearts — He re-united us, welded our hearts back together, and re-bonded us in relationship. You see, we haven’t done well since Linda’s death in maintaining our once close ties as a family. Nearly three years ago, after Linda went home to her Savior, the rest of us retreated to our various corners and grieved our private sorrows, which was easy to do since most of us live hundreds of miles apart.
We have all experienced the relational distancing since then and it has felt neither good nor right. So this past Tuesday night, we had a family meeting in which I shared my constant feelings of failure as their father. Whenever they are able to come home, I notice the pain and grief in their eyes as they walk through the door, just because Mom isn’t there any longer. It’s like every re-entry is a splash of ice water of the harsh reality that the house is missing its greatest asset. And though I have feebly tried to duplicate her by doing some decorating and minimal baking, I just can’t recapture the magic tone of the warmth and love Linda always set for us, and especially so at Christmas. As a family, we talked these things out amid some flowing tears. We all expressed how much we miss her — their mom and my soul-mate — but also how much we love one another.
Then my kids gave me a gift! It was the encouragement of their steadfast support and their expressed devotion to one another that we will all do a better job of sticking together, communicating with each other, and loving, caring and supporting each other as all good and godly families do. It’s really a renewed commitment to practice the “one anothers” of Scripture: love one another, build up one another, forgive one another, encourage one another, be kind to one another, bear one another’s burdens, pray for one another, confess your faults to one another, comfort one another, and forbear with one another.
It’s interesting that the Scriptures also point to some other “one anothers” we should avoid: don’t bite or devour one another, don’t provoke one another, don’t lie to one another, don’t speak evil to one another, and don’t grumble against one another. Relationships can be fragile, and especially so in family networks. But when we appropriately put into practice these “one anothers,” we are able to follow God’s wise and gracious formula for maintaining strong and dynamic family ties.
There’s another Chinese proverb that says, “A family with an old person has a living treasure of gold.” Hmm! How can I get that one across to my kids?
by Bob Page, Senior Pastor
